Marriage Problems

Marriage Counseling2

Couples and Marriage Problems

Both healthy and stressed marriage relationships can benefit from couples counseling. Often, couples come to counseling as  a “last resort” to save the relationship from divorce.  Like most problems, it is more effective to start working on your relationship well before a crisis.  However, any relationship can benefit from counseling to work through the issues and develop new patterns of interaction.

Fortunately,  marriage counseling can be effective in helping many marriages survive and thrive.  Ultimately, it is not the marriage counselor that corrects the problems but the individuals in the relationship and their desire to change that makes the difference.  The best marriage counseling can not help change the relationship if both partners are not willing to do some things differently.  Early intervention and a desire to improve the relationship are the most important factors in counseling.  Many couples are able to resolve their issues when they develop and practice new ways of communicating and understanding of each other’s needs.

When seeking a marriage counselor to help your relationship. Look for a therapist that expresses these qualities:

  • Find a counselor who cares about maintaining your relationship and values keeping you together as long as you want to remain together.
  • Look for a therapist that will help you improve communication so that each of you can understand the problems and can begin to solve your issues.
  • Use a therapist who offers some structure to your sessions so that there are basic ground rules for productive communication.
  • The therapist shouldn’t take sides but should challenge each of you to own your contributions and encourage you to change.
  • Find a therapist that will give you advice, strategies and offer learning tools to improve the relationship.
  • The therapist should have resources for family therapy, if needed for parenting or divorce situations.

Common problems in relationships that can be improved through counseling include:

  • Inability to communicate about issues in the relationship.
  • Lack of affection with each other
  • Talking over each other or ignoring each other during communication
  • Telling each other what you want, need or feel from the relationship or with each other.
  • Anger issues, or painful past experiences that prevent the relationship from growing.
  • Power struggles about roles, responsibilities, money and intimacy.
  • Resentments, hurts, affairs and acting out to soothe unmet needs.
  • Alcohol, drugs or other process addictions that affect the relationship.
  • Working through a divorce amicably.

Dunham Counseling has a number of very experienced marriage counselors in Naperville and in St. Charles.  We value helping couples remain together whenever possible and offer couples a caring and professional relationship to begin resolving marriage issues.  Call us at 630-799-0100 to speak with a marriage therapist.